i can’t believe [person] just [verb]ed at the [award show]
i can’t believe GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER (INVENTOR OF PEANUT BUTTER) just TRANSFORMED INTO A JET PLANE at the ACADEMY AWARDS
Is that Pharrell
they shut my water off
people who smile in selfies are not to be trusted, what are you smiling about? what is there to be happy about? you fucking communist
weak unprepared people sleep naked. what are you gonna do when a robber comes in your house and see you naked? ?your material possessions can be replaced but your dignity cannot.
the robber will be so blown away by my massive DONG that he will have SO MUCH RESPECT for me and my MASSIVE PENIS that he will put all the stuff back and walk out. all because of my COLOSSAL MEMBER.
when you come into your room and someone’s there
As somebody who works in a cavern I can verify that most speleothems look like dicks
don’t be friends with seniors because they will graduate and leave you and it’ll suck
DON’T BE FRIENDS WITH UNDERCLASSMEN BECAUSE YOU WILL HAVE TO LEAVE THEM AND IT WILL SUCK
don’t be friends with seniors if you’re a senior because they’ll go to a different college than you and it will suck
dont make friends
glad we sorted that out guys